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  • Writer's pictureDarren Timms

Three Ways to overcome Hardships in life

The three things we can do when faced with the challenges that life presents us with are

1.       Change the meaning,

2.       Change our expectations

3.       Remove ourselves from the environment causing the suffering.

However, before considering the third option, let's explore the power of influence and responsibility in relationships.

The power of influence is incredibly strong in relationships, but it tends to disappear when we try to exercise control and force. There are several ways to positively influence others, such as encouraging, sharing, listening, and communicating correctly.

Negative control generates stress, frustration, and anger, while positive influence allows the energy to flow in a relaxed way with harmony, without threatening anyone and respecting each individual's speciality, allowing them to be themselves.

To influence positively, we need to have the power to discriminate about what to think, speak and do. For example, when we believe that the other person is the problem, the issue is not what others say or do but how we perceive them. 

Our discrimination and judgement about the situation create negative feelings about them. We can perceive others as a threat, a problem, or an opportunity - an opportunity for learning, self-change, dialogue, and understanding.

Changing the meaning of a situation can tremendously impact how we view and handle life challenges. Rather than seeing challenges as burdens, we can view them as opportunities to learn and grow.

Changing our expectations involves setting realistic goals for ourselves and accepting that things will not always go as planned. It is important to be flexible and adaptable when faced with adversity and to approach challenges with a positive attitude.

Remember: Every human being has been granted the superpower of response and responsibility, which means to be response-able, or able- to-respond or the ability to respond, (response-ability) to whatever life presents to us at any given moment. Owning that fact alone can change the whole trajectory of your future.

Be clear. It's never the event causing you to feel a certain way but how you react or respond to it. Yes, life is damn tough at times, very tough, and nobody will sidestep the universal challenges that grief, loss, rejection, heartache, heartbreak, failure, criticism, cruelty, illness and impairment that visit us all.

However, if it were those experiences that defined humanity, then every one of us would react to these events in the same way, and that is just not true.

It will always be our response and the meaning we assign to events that either keep us stuck or become a platform for our evolution, making us stronger, resilient, and even antifragile in the face of adversity.

That said, there may come a time when removing ourselves from a toxic environment is necessary for our well-being. Recognizing when it is time to walk away from a situation takes courage and self-awareness. Removing ourselves from negative environments can be a powerful act of self-preservation and self-love. It is important to remember that we are responsible for our happiness and that sometimes, removing ourselves from a toxic situation is the best choice we can make.

To sum up: When we encounter challenges, it's important to remember that we have options. One way to approach a difficult situation is to change how we perceive it. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, we can try to find the positive aspects and view the situation as an opportunity for growth and learning. Another option is to adjust our expectations.

Perhaps we are expecting too much from ourselves or others, and this is causing unnecessary stress. Setting more realistic expectations can reduce our stress levels and approach the situation calmly.

Finally, if the environment causing us to suffer is beyond our control or influence or is unhealthy, we can remove ourselves. This could mean physically leaving the environment or simply distancing ourselves emotionally from the situation. 

Whatever our choice may be, it's important to remember that we have options and can take steps to improve our well-being.

''The No Nonsense Therapist'' Author of The Amazon bestseller-"The Journey Back to Self''-

Transformation Coach, NLP, Psychotherapy.

'I help those feeling persecuted or victimized overcome any challenge.'

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